I am learning that this life is hard at times and I need complete dependence on you to stay grounded and not be tainted by the world.
Captivate my heart Lord Jesus to be in this world but not of it...to be transformed by you.
Lord, interrupt my day as you see fit...open my eyes Lord to what you want to show me and how you want me to make an impact for your kingdom.
These were the words I penned in my journal a year ago today.
The months leading up to this day had been a season of feeling God's silence in the midst of many challenges. I remember running that morning crying out to God that I needed to hear Him speaking clearly to me.
At 4:30 pm God spoke clearly and chose to interrupt my day with a phone call from our agency...a call that was completely unexpected...a call that would forever change the course of our family.
I was talking with my sister wishing her a happy birthday when I saw a call from our adoption agency come through. Since we were not expecting a call about a possible match until spring of 2011 I didn't answer,thinking that they probably were calling about some additional paperwork. When I finished talking with my sister I called our agency.
The voice on the other end said, "We have a little girl that we would like for your family to consider."
My heart skipped a beat.
Excitement, fear and joy flooded my soul.
She began to tell me everything about a little girl named Dang Yue Xin.
It felt like time stood still.
After I hung up the phone the e-mail came through with all her information and I immediately called Michael before I opened it.
I asked him if he was sitting down.
I forwarded the e-mail to him and together we opened it and looked at the pictures of beautiful little Dang Yue Xin.
We affectionately call this one our little "pumpkin smurf".
This was her finding ad picture...the outfit she was wearing when she was found abandoned in the Nanyang city park on December 18, 2009...only 16 days after her birth.
In China they apparently like to take mirror-image pictures...our agency assured me we weren't getting twins (although I would take two of her any day!)
These were the pictures we saw together on November 3, 2010.
Michael radiated complete peace and joy.
I wanted to feel the same way but if I am completely honest...in the midst of my excitement and joy...fear of the unknown began to creep in.
The next morning I went back to the e-mail and began looking at all the pictures again and found picture #3...one we apparently "missed" the day before.
When I opened this picture I fell in love with Dang Yue Xin...this will forever be one of my favorite pictures of our precious daughter.
Yuexin means joyful...happy...and new.
There was something about the sparkle in her eyes and sweet smile that captivated me in a way that I knew without a doubt that this was the child God had chosen for our family.
I was still filled with fear and questions but an overwhelming sense of peace filled my heart as we began walking forward in obedience to His calling.
I often think...what if we had missed it?
What if we had continued to live our life of comfort and ease and missed out on the blessing of this precious child of God?
Dang Yue Xin (Lily Grace)...fills our home with laughter and JOY every day.
Have there been challenges? ....yes
Has it always been easy?....no
But we would do it all over...
again....and again...and again.
Happy 1 year of knowing you sweet Lily and happy birthday to my sister who is one of my best friends in life. So thankful that you both share this special day together.
"The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. The Lord is my portion, says my soul, therefore I will hope in him.
Lamentations 3:23-24
